I have not posted in a long time and that has been due to me having started my new life in a new city, a city more than 9 hours away from my home in Palmview, Texas. There has been so little time to do anything aside from school or work, that I am simply exhausted by the end of the day and want to sleep. That is why there are so many pictures of college students asleep in weird places, they’re so tired that even a desk table can be a bed.
This new life is interesting. I’ve been alone for a few weeks already and I have learned and dealt with so much, dealt with situations I never though I would ever encounter. I have had to meet amazing and outstanding members of the faculty and excellent student leaders. I have even made amazing friends in such a short period of time. I though that I would be alone and scared and afraid; I will generally be standoffish and prevent people from coming near me. Gladly, that didn’t happen and I allowed myself to interact with others. That is a decision I will never regret, meeting all these amazing people has allowed me to have a sense of pride and joy.
This month of being alone has not been without its bumps in the road. There were a few scares with friends, back home and here at my residence hall. There were instances where I though I might lose someone. There had been times where friends never answered our messages or calls and we didn’t know what had happened to them. On a personal level, I guess I can say that I had anxiety for a good few weeks, either my right hand would constantly be shaking or I would feel antsy. My depression hit with a renowned strength and I felt more alone than ever, even when I was surrounded by my friends. I am so grateful for them, to have them be here, the friend from FLOC, a club I am apart of, or the friends in my residence hall. I am so grateful that they’ve been here to support me with being alone and homesick.
Thankfully I still have family, even though majority live over 400 miles away from me. They are there to have my back and support me with my decision to be here; I couldn’t have asked for more and am beyond grateful to have their support.
It is scary being alone, so far away from family. The only real chance I have to see them is Christmas, and even then it may be a struggle. But now is the time for a new life and so I will take the opportunities I have been given and use them to the fullest of my advantage and advance myself to the best of my abilities.
More writing will be coming soon and I am working on two books! One is a second prose and poetry collection and the other is a coming of age novel in epistolary format. Updates will happen and I will be posting writings soon. Au revoir!